I always have the feeling that people are judging me and my self-esteem often depends entirely on how they treat me (or how I perceive their treatment). I worry about wearing the right clothes and saying the right things. I know people probably aren’t that focused on me, but I can’t stop worrying about what they think. How can I stop being afraid?
Everyone deals with the fear of judgment at some level. It makes no sense that we give other people this much power over how we feel about ourselves, but we often do.
This happens to you more when you aren't sure who you are. If you worry about what others think of you, you may need to clearly define who you are and what affects your value, once and for all.
Clearly defining these two things will help you to take your power back.
I believe your value is infinite and absolute (unchangeable) because you are a one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable human soul. I believe nothing you do, nothing anyone else says, thinks or does to you, and no situation in your life, can change your value. You are the same no matter what they think.
I believe you are as bulletproof as Superman. Offenses, insults and judgments can just bounce off, if you experience them that way. No one can hurt you without your permission.
I believe you are (literally) your love for yourself, people and life, and your love is the source of your value. That's why you can't lose who you are. If you would focus on being the love everywhere you go, the fear of judgment would stop, because you can't do fear and love at the same time.
Here are some other things you can do to diminish the fear.
Hope this helps.
Kimberly Giles is the founder and president of ldslifecoaching.com and claritypointcoaching.com. She is a life coach and speaker who specializes in repairing and building self-esteem.
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Kimberly Giles is the president and founder of Claritypoint Life Coaching and 12 SHAPES INC. She is an author and professional speaker. She was named one of the top 20 advice gurus in the country by Good Morning America in 2010. She appears regularly on local and national TV and Radio.