I read your article on anger and I was wondering if you have some advice for me about being angry with myself. Yesterday I allowed someone to cross my boundary (i.e., I did not want to do something, but they talked me into doing it anyway and I reluctantly agreed). I’m angry at myself for being so weak. How can I stop doing this and how can I let go of the anger toward myself?
Being weak, not enforcing your boundaries and getting pushed into things you don't want to do is a common problem. A lot of people have trouble standing their ground and honoring their own needs.
In order to change this behavior, you must figure out why you do it. You are probably weak for one of these three reasons:
Once you understand the fear behind your weakness, you can write a new, more accurate rule of conduct for yourself. The following principles of truth will help you to do this.
Remember, you can be strong and loving at the same time.
You also asked how you can forgive yourself for being weak in the past. I recommend you look at these situations as perfect lessons, not mistakes. They have nothing to do with your value. They happened, so you could see what you are afraid of and learn to change it. Focus on the beautiful lesson this situation provided, and let the rest go.
You can do this.
Kimberly Giles is the founder and president of ldslifecoaching.com and claritypointcoaching.com. She is a sought after life coach and popular speaker who specializes in repairing and building self-esteem.
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Kimberly Giles is the president and founder of Claritypoint Life Coaching and 12 SHAPES INC. She is an author and professional speaker. She was named one of the top 20 advice gurus in the country by Good Morning America in 2010. She appears regularly on local and national TV and Radio.